New Orleans Lifestyle

I'm Still Here

Suit: Zara, Makeup: Artistry By Camille, Photography: Scott Simon (iHeartNola)

I’m still here

Despite how they want to regulate my body
Despite how they feel about my skin
I’m still here, even though they don’t want me to be
I’m still here, even though they can’t see me
I’m still here

Aside from the attempts to erase me
Aside from how that benefits you
I’m still here, even though I’m exhausted
I’m still here, even though I’m crying
I’m still here...

My Divinity

Top: H&M by way of Buffalo Exchange, Jeans: River Island by way of ASOS, Shoes: Puma

Photography by Scott Simon of iHeartNOLA.com

I am divine…

Even when I can’t seem to smile or face myself in the mirror,

Even when I can’t stop my tears from flowing,

Even when my nerves shake me crazy

I am divine…

See, my divinity is a reflection of my highest self.

The glow from within seeps out through my sores.

I am divine because I know that I am…

Even when I don’t see myself, I know that I am SEEN

Even when the pressure is weighing me down, I know that I am lifted.

Even when I cant seem to steady my breaths, I know that I am breathing…

When I see myself, I see my divinity.

I find strength in my sensitivity

and exude my femininity

with a natural affinity.

Standing tall in my presence,

You can feel my essence.

My energy is effervescent.

My glow is iridescent.

My truth is my freedom.

This body is my kingdom.

My heart is like gold.

I am a beauty to behold.

When I see myself, I see my divinity…

And I wonder if this world is ready for me…

-C.M.Hamilton

Fine Line

Photography by Clint Blane, Pantsuit by West London Boutique

 

I am but a group of lengthy lines

Extending from one end to another,

From top to bottom,

One point to the other,

My lines are fine...

 

My body is but a stroke of my maker's genius.

Sketched with extension and full intention.

Drawn so beautifully imperfect,

With soft shadows and harsh highlights.

Contouring the pain and the glory.

  My lines look fine...

 

You may find my lines bold and sharp,

 Or maybe staggered and dashed.

They may be pulled every which way.

Or tightly wound and spun around me.

They may be stretched or strained,

But my lines...they stay fine...

 

Sometimes my lines move gracefully.

Swaying softly to melodies of the Universe.

Swindling around in pirouettes,

Perfectly posed and poised.

Strikingly statuesque

My lines...

 

They are sensual, they are strong, they run everlastingly.

They intermingle, they untwist, they are elastic.

They bend, they curve, they intertwine. 

My lines are FINE.

 

 

Ready Or Not

  

Photography by Scottie O.

When I made the claim that I was ready for my life to change, the Universe called me on my bluff. Abrupt shifts have shaken me into damn-near unbearable discomfort. I've been having a hard time articulating what's going on with me. It's like a comforting discomfort where I have no idea where I'm going or how I'm going to get there. I'm scared out of my mind, but a part me knows that I'm being guided by the natural flow of my life. And that flow naturally leads me to exactly what was destined for me; as if the Universe knows something that I don't know. As if the Universe is done waiting for me to catch up. It's like my heart is already there, my intuition (spirit) is cosigning, but my mind is still skeptical. I keep telling myself that I want things to change, but the second they start to, I become tense, anxious, and afraid... 

I'm practicing being present with these feelings; Actually acknowledging them and letting them work their way through me. I've given myself affirmations to reference as I'm going through this process:

  1. Just ride the waves and let the flow take you away.
  2. Never reject or question the messages. Just receive them and say "thank you."
  3. If you think you can't, know that you definitely CAN and soon will. 
  4. Honor your feelings [all fifty million of them] and give yourself space to process them by any means necessary. 
  5. You'll probably never know how, but know that you absolutely WILL get through it. 

For me, the true test to whether or not I am ready to move forward with my life, was being presented with the option to revisit old relationships and having to make the decision to either fall back into old patterns/habits, or to leave them where they're at. Untie those knots in my stomach, and embrace the unknown. The beautiful thing about mistakes is that no one is exempt from making them. When you allow your ego to take a backseat, you may notice that "to lose", may actually mean "to gain." My relationship with my past has been the most challenging to part with. My past has been the ghost, haunting me as I enter new spaces. Once I release my ghost, I'll be allowed the space I need to grow. And those that enter [or have remained in] my life are here as teachers, supporters, profits, blessings... 

Let Go. Let Love. Expand Your Mind. Open Your Heart. Receive These Blessings. Repeat.