I’d gotten so used to being silenced, that I sometimes silence myself. I’d gotten so used to silencing myself, that sometimes I forget to speak up when I’m violated.
“What will they think of me?”
“How will they receive this?”
“Will I be seen as the difficult, angry black woman AGAIN?”
Conditioned thoughts I have to mute so that I can build up enough courage to say “I’M NOT OKAY WITH THIS.”
Sometimes I forget the sound of my own voice. Some words have to be sucked through my teeth. Sometimes I forget how powerful my words can be...
I’ve gotten so used to blocking myself, that sometimes I allow others to block me. Someone once told me “If you speak, they will listen.” They will listen...THEY WILL LISTEN...SPEAK.
Don’t let them silence you. Don’t let you silence yourself.
I had a dream a couple of nights ago that involved a beautiful gigantic speckled black & white butterfly gracefully soaring over me. Naturally, I was mesmerized. As I moved to take a closer look, the butterfly then suddenly transformed into a gigantic owl. This gigantic owl then proceeded to charge toward & attacked me...After waking up like I thought about what it could possibly mean.
From the little knowledge that I have on butterflies, I know that in dreams they can symbolize transformation. Also, that the larger the butterfly, "the greater impression I will make in a social situation."
As for the owl...the research I've found so far states that the owl [in the context of my dream] can symbolize someone in my life that has taken keen observation of me or is keeping secrets from me. "In Owl dreams, an Owl suddenly bolting into flight symbolizes that Owls, and people, can be reckless in their pursuit of something."
This dream could mean a number of things. As I'm still translating, I'm starting to be more mindful of the company that I keep. Your personal environment is a reflection of what you're putting out or allowing into your life. There may be people around that are not serving you in the healthiest way. Sometimes we need to carefully curate our spaces so that we can give ourselves the breathing room we need to grow and be our best selves. Moving forward, the only kind of relationships that I'm allowing are restorative relationships. I want to feel strengthened and supported by the company that I keep, as I intend to offer the same to them.
If there's anyone that is more experienced in interpreting dreams, please share your thoughts. I'd love to hear other perspectives on this.
If you water them, they will grow...
From bud, to blossom, to bloom
Kissed by the sun
Sprinkled with sweet tears from the sky
Sprouting bursts of perky petals
Alive and vibrant
Graceful and stylish
Like Earth's accessories
Alluring in fragrance
Sexy, seductive, and succulent
Calm and coy
Strong and stable,
Yet so soft and fragile
I want to love you like flowers grow
Fertilize your life
Feed your heart
Water your mind
Give you light...
Nurture you with care
Keep you grounded
From the roots to the tips of your petals
I want to give you trust
That I am only here to help you grow
And be beautiful
...I'm learning how to be a better gardener...
Restart. Refresh. Renew.
Sometimes we need to start over.
Regroup. Reset. Redirect.
We can't move forward if we're holding on to the past.
We need a Clean Slate.
Clear the mind. Clear the body. Clear the soul.
Let the past be the seasonings to a more flavorful future.
Let our experiences be our blessings.
Let love lead the way.
Let the present be a present to ourselves.