Intentional Intentions

Top: Goodwill, Pants: Forever XXI, Sandals: TopShop, Sunglasses: French Quarter Market, Bag: Dopeciety

"There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living." -Nelson Mandela

I'll be entering the last year of my twenties in about a month and I can literally feel it. My body is changing, my patience level has gotten more tolerable (roughly), and have found myself being more clear about my wants and needs. In the past I'd find difficulty determining exactly what all that entails. Everyday I'd pray for an abundance of love, joy, and success. But what all does that include? Am I being to general? Too vague? Am I confusing the Universe by not being clear with my intentions?  

A girlfriend and I were chatting about settling the other day. She vowed to be more conscious about her needs and is now practicing the art of "not settling." Applying it to every aspect of her life, from major life-altering decision-making, to deciding what brand to get of your favorite pancakes at the grocery store. She said if she wanted the Universe to understand her intentions, she needed to be more clear about them. If I go to the bar, order a Stella Artois and the bartender says they're out, I can't settle for a Bud Light. One because Bud Light is disgusting, [eck] but also because that's not truly what I want. See, I'd already tasted the crisp flavor of the Stella, touching the tips of my tastebuds. I'm not going to settle and go with something I don't really want. And no this was not a hypothetical situation, I'm at Outback right now writing this and I'm a little salty about it [I digress]. 

The fact of the matter is, my friend inspired me to try this method out. I pray and put my intentions out into the Universe everyday. If I want reciprocity, I better be putting out the right thing. I want an abundance of love, joy, and success. So I'm going to ask for it and I'm going to be VERY specific about it. I'm going to be more open and honest with myself and others. I'm going to create the life I want for myself. It's no one's responsibility, but mine. I'm holding myself accountable. Putting my big girl panties on and taking control of my life. Today I wanted my favorite steak from Outback. So, I took myself to Outback and got my favorite steak. Simple as that. [I clearly know the way to my own heart...] 

C. M. Hamilton

Pattern Maker

Blouse: DVF Vintage by way of Buffalo Exchange, Pants: Forever XXI, Necklace: Vintage, Shoes: Elisabetta Franchi for Celyn b.

Photography by: Danielle "Lil Bit" Miles

I'm admittedly a creature of habit. I know what I like, I typically stick to what I know, & my behavior is seemingly predictable. I have somewhat quirky patterns, like voluntarily sleeping on my couch [because it's convenient and comfortable] and then relocating to my bed at about 5am every morning. I repeatedly watch every season of Sex and the City on DVD, because its my favorite show and I'm sick of reality tv [and I also don't have wifi *tear*]. I eat French fries after 11p almost every night, because duh...FRENCH FRIES! Every Wed. I go to Jamba Juice for Loyalty Day and buy a $3 Energy Bowl [because I'm devoted and loyal to places that offer solid discounts]...

Then there are some not-so healthy, more life-altering immediately stressing myself out about something before even attempting to see a silver lining. I give people waaaay too many chances, probably because I'm more patient with other people than I am with myself [the sensitive Cancer sign in me]. I overthink/over-plan EVERYTHING before going into it [ meanwhile life is looking at me like "Girl please"]. I'm extra hard on myself and often overlook the progress I've made because I'm too focused on the end result. 

I'm not perfect [cliche, but true], but it's important that I recognize my patterns in life: good and not-so good. By knowingmy patterns, I'm able to address and access them. I'm perfectly ok with watching Sex and the City everyday on repeat, but maybe sometimes I'll read a good book or do some writing instead. French fries will ALWAYS be my guilty pleasure, but cutting back a bit may do my body some good. I'll always be caring and considerate [its in my make] but I should probably be more assertive and particular about who I allow into my personal space. I'm a Type A personality, so order is necessary for me to function, but maybe I should put more trust in my instinct. It always steers me in the right direction [whenever I do follow it]. And maybe, just maybe I should cut myself a little...a lot more slack. I'm doing really well for myself and I am proud of my accomplishments in life thus far. 

The key to a healthy life is balance; In all aspects. Recognizing your patterns is the first step to changing them. I'm a creature of habit, but spontaneity and "going with the flow" can be quite invigorating. My reoccurring personal task will be to make a pattern out of breaking old patterns and trust in the natural course my life is taking. I will keep my eyes open and fresh. I'll take on new ventures and ideas. I'm blessed with only ONE life to live. It's important that I make it the best.